There are two things I have spent a great deal of time being vocally opposed to, golf and nature but I have to admit I have changed my opinions on golf and because of that I now have a new appreciation for nature, at least in the context of golf.

To give you some background let me start by saying something that typically results in people giving me a very dirty look, I hate nature. I am more than thankful I live on a planet with lush greens and blues and not some empty rock floating in space; general though I enjoy things that are man made over that which I find growing on a rock covered with slime. I don’t like bugs, I don’t like heat, I don’t like cold, I am not a fan of the wind and excessive sunlight really bothers me as does lengthy dark. I prefer a nice hotel room or a temperature controlled house to the outdoors. Hiking or camping sound like nightmares to me. I like anything that bends atmosphere to my desire and standing outside carries with it just too many things I cannot control.

I enjoy the thought of the beach, I really do, but ten minutes in the sand bothers me, the water starts smelling and most of all the people who congregate there never actually look like they do in an episode of Baywatch. South Florida and parts of California aside most of my experience on beaches has been looking around to see enormously overweight people sunning themselves in skimpy clothing with a few nice lookers sprinkled in to mock the entire experience.

We have a few very beautiful sprawling parks here in New York and once or twice a year I like to drive through them, get out for a few minutes and say “yeap, trees, trees, waterfall, hawks, squirrels, trees, more rocks, trees I get it, let’s get an ice cream cone and go.” I much prefer a nice mall or an Apple Store.

As for golf it always seemed like a massive waste of time to me, not that I don’t enjoy wasting time because, I do. Wasting time is great. Have you ever just sat before a massive television and watched Godfather 2 for the twentieth time and order in a pizza? It is great! Largely though golf just seemed like the opposite, more outdoors and a silly game.

Not long ago I decided to put my prejudice aside and give golf a try; suddenly I realized just why so many people love it.

Golf is seriously a game invented for people like me. There is no running involved. I run on a treadmill three times a week, I don’t want to spend any more time than I have to in a hurried pace. You hit the ball, you walk or get in a cart, you hit it again. No need to get out of breath!

The challenge is in perfecting your accuracy, your distance and your swing. In many ways while you are playing “against” people you are really challenging yourself. You can play it alone if you want and there is always something new to try and account for.

As for the outdoors, the secret of golf is that it is the ultimate taming of nature for a pointless endeavor. Gold courses contain some of the most beautiful land cornered off for something that is entirely useless for the evolution of the planet or humanity. You just stand out there for hours, taking in the beauty of the day but you can always get back in a cart and drive to someplace else. You don’t have to spend much time in one spot, you just move along.

Best of all you have to pay to be there! Because of this fact you don’t really have to deal with many people you don’t want to. There are no ruffians getting in your way. Sure there are jerks out there too, but at least they paid to be there and miserable.

I foresee a very long and fulfilling relationship with golf and at the very least I will acquiesce to nature while I play.