First, I am a viewer of Dancing With the Stars and have been for many years. Yes, I know, not the kind of thing you want to admit but at least it is not Glee. I also want to admit that I am one of the members of the vast right wing conspiracy, which of course does not entitle me to take part in society by decree of progressivism. I am, of course, allowed to believe what I want (thank you freedom of speech) but I am not allowed to do anything that would further said belief or support those who do (damned anti-expression for conservatives Constitutional Amendment). But my confession is important, for I have broken said decree and manipulated the voting on Dancing With the Stars and in the process supported Bristol Palin.
Here. in gruesome detail, is how I did it.
1) I picked up the phone
2) I inputted Bristol’s voting number as displayed on the television screen
3) I sent a message
4) I repeated the process the specified maximum number of times
I am so sorry America. I don’t know how my family will live this shame down.
In further full disclosure I aided and abetted others who did the same. Once someone asked for the number and I gave it to them. This conspiracy extended to the social networking site Twitter where I discussed the show and Bristol’s participation. I am sure this somehow violates interstate commerce and will bring about federal charges. I understand if my fellow conspirators and I will be sent to Guantanamo Bay, which will likely take on a new role in this post-conservative-DWTS era.
I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I assumed that a dancing competition television show that was based on popularity would encourage voting. I was spurred by the comments of the three judges, who repeatedly complimented Bristol’s sustained improvement and reinforced repeatedly that she deserved to be on the show. I should have realized they were only being nice and only meant progressive voting should occur.
I had a temporary lapse in judgment where I forgot I was not free to express myself. My manipulation of said television show will now end and I will wait for the authorities.
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Tags: Living Conservative
