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Prediction: Google Glasses The Next Target of Nanny State

Model Shows Google GlassYesterday Google unveiled details of its heavily rumored project to bring “augmented reality” to the masses, unveiling Project Glass and unleashed pictures of decent looking models oh so happy to be wearing dorky white rimmed glasses with a tiny projector/camera attached. A promotional video showcases a user navigating the world with a new layer of data provided by Google projected over it. With the glasses you could reportedly see the weather, your email, maps, all kinds of information without having to take the exhaustive measure of actually lifting up a cell phone to look at the screen. I want, I want, I want!

Of course, you can already predict the many outrages that will consume members of the Nanny State and send them on a quest to get the devices banned from our lives. Here are a few.

The first outrage, driving

This is the easiest to predict. Can you imagine how amazing it would be to drive with these glasses? An ever present GPS fueled map? Road conditions popping up ahead of each turn “I wouldn’t go that way if I were you. Bridge is out.” It would be a wonder and make life great. That is why Nanny State types will hate it, because they hate anything that makes life better despite calling themselves progressives.

“Google glasses cause accidents!” They will declare. “Thousands of people die every second from using them!” It will be a continuation of their crusade against cell phones, txt messaging and everything else that makes the monotonous and consuming act of commuting bearable.

I live in New York. We will probably be the first state to outlaw these glasses while driving. Then California and Maine and before you know it Democrat Senators will be pushing a national ban.

The second outrage, walking

If Nanny Staters hate augmented reality while driving just wait until they see us walking around with these devices. Somewhere, out there, a lone idiot will take to the streets with a skinny latte and a pair of these glasses and because they are an idiot, they will walk into traffic and get themselves killed. This will undoubtedly start the onslaught.

That lone idiot will embolden the societal police to start campaigns everywhere against walking while augmenting. “People are dying in the streets” they will yell. “We must protect you from yourself!”

The third outrage, social obesity

Finally we will hear the Nanny Staters sneer at users of these devices “they are so rude. I went to a restaurant with a friend and she spent more time with her glasses than she did with me. My husband won’t pay attention to me, he just wants to read books on his glasses. Meanwhile my children, they are getting so fat. They don’t have active play anymore and they are getting fatter and how dangerous when they ride their bikes with augmented reali! It is dangerous and infuriating. Augmented reality is killing reality! Make it stop.”

Somehow they will even link these ills to Sarah Palin! “She started all of this trendy glasses nonsense. She is the devil.

Don’t even get them started on advertisers using augmented reality to push their messages. They will boil for hours.

In conclusion, I don’t know if these glasses will ever take off. Frankly if the company ties the device to Google+  it will probably implode immediately. I do know that with every great advance comes the Nanny Staters pushing decline and this seems a perfect mark for their assault.

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